Monday, June 25, 2012

The Epiphany

And during the days of the fall of the Great Empire, a story was told of the cult of a Swami Ayn Rand. It is believed that her spirit summoned her followers on a night of a dark moon as the wolves were howling. Haunted by their Guru and by the persistent wailing of the wolves, they traveled in packs to a sacred rock near the tomb of Swami Ayn Rand and they called her forth to ask her bidding. In an angry Russian accent, she immediately uttered:

"I am Ayn Rand, your beloved Master. Go unto the Great Mount and seek a vision from me there on the night of the next dark moon, but not without bringing with you my book on the Virtue of Selfishness. Mommie loves you all." (tender smile)

And just as the transmission finished beaming, the vision began to sink in. They were her chosen! They had to build her a church! And they did, and then they parted to the holy mount. Four Days and Five Nights they journeyed. They brought their Camels, their Horses, their Hundays, their Porsches, their aircars.  At the assigned time, they all met at the Great Mount.

There are four dead kings that rule this sacred mount. Their national cult is known as the Cult of the Presidents. The cult gathers in the vecinity of this sacred mountain to discuss cultish matters. After brief, friendly exchanges with the local cult, the AynRandites went up to the sacred mount and once again summoned their Guru. She simply appeared on their holyvision screen, which was generously provided by Spiritronics, Inc. and which contained an artificial brain that had been uploaded with the entirety of Ayn Rand's ideas and discussions.  She wore a head covering and tunic which should remind us of either Ghandi or Emperor Palpatine.  She looked about her age were she still alive.  Wide eyed, she uttered:


"And we are here, as you requested."

Trying a bit not to be condescending, the swami said: "Did you all finish reading my book?"

The group hadn't thought about that one. They brought the book along, but they believed they were called to summon her, not to read her book.

"You're just like the Christians!", she replied in anger. "Read it and summon me then!"

This vision made the ardent followers into teachers of her Gospel. And so they spent nine days and ten nights reading and pondering the Virtue of Selfishness on the holy mount, and then they summoned her again and discussed philosophical matters for another ten days and nights. They recount these dialogues in one of their sacred texts, the Discussions of the AynRandites.

Near the place of her death, a stone church was built for her with the following message at the entrance:

Do not let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the net yet and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Ayn Rand

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